In a path for my wellness for RD, I began putting together a list of all the things I am doing to help him get better:

Gluten Free/Casein Free Diet

Zeolyte Drops

Probiotic

Digestive Enzyme

Brain Child Nutritionals Spectrum Support Pak II Vitamins (which includes: Mixed Carotenoids, Vitamin C, Vitamin D3, Vitamin E, Vitamin B-1, Vitamin B-2, Vitamin B3, Vitamin B-6, Folinic Acid, Biotin, Vitamin B12, Vitamin B-5, Choline, Inositol, Bioflavonoids, TMB, DMAE & N-Acetyl Cyateine.

Brain Child Nutritionals Minerals (which includes: Calcium D-Glucarate, Magnesium, Zinc, Selenium, Manganese, Chromium, Molybdenum, Potassium and Methlysulfonymenthane.)

Cod Liver Oil

Epsom Salt Baths

 Athia Toxin Removal Cream.

His reflux has improved, but his tantrums are the same, he eats little and has to be by my side. Maybe because he thinks I have all the answers. The truth is I don’t. I’m frantically researching and trying ultimately not to dissapoint him or myself. I want so badly for him to get better. Maybe it will make me better and yet I am realizing he needs Speech therapy and so does LW…his brother. I think I am destined to have to kids on the spectrum and or a Aspie Son and an ADHD son. A crystal and indigo child by some people’s interpretation. Now to many that sounds like some sort of liberal bullcrap, which I have to say sometimes enters my mind. I’m not a hippy or some misguided person but sometimes I find comfort in things even in they aren’t true. Maybe its my way of getting through things and that isn’t neccessarily that’s bad.

I find that Autism is like a rollercoaster. I’m on this ride that makes me sick sometimes and scares the crap out of me. I enter into dark tunnels with sounds that enter my ears but sights I can’t see. By the time I let my fear subside and try to tackle the problem I’m out of the tunnel and back up a hill headed downwards to another scary turn. I think I see the station and I’m headed that direction when it twists and turns me upside down. Maybe its cheesy but it’s exactly the journey that is Autism. I feel that I lose a bit of myself with each turn and I wonder if the woman I be will ever return. I don’t blame my son, he is a joy, but I am beginning to wonder why. Why so many parents have to go through this hell with their kids, why they struggle, go into financial ruin, have little relationship left to share together, have to ignore their other children to save the one who needs the most help, and yet are left with the thought that things might never get better. I’m a spirtual person but sometimes I wonder why this happened. What God is telling me and how I should go forward. I guess only time will tell….but time is painful and leaves scars that aren’t quick to heal. I’m not sure how much healthy skin I have left to scar. That’s what scares me most.

I read both of Jenny McCarthy’s books and I’m very greatful for having the chance to read them. They made me feel like i’m not alone in the world and also made me sad. But these books are empowering. I think there is something to be said for a generation of women who fight the system to save their kids. I’m fists up to the belief that she is correct that this generation of mothers will pave the way for other moms. I’m working each day trying not to drive myself nuts but its not always easy. I want him to have a good day and sometimes it just hurts my heart. I would really suggest reading these books, its a great insight into the world of Autism from the biomed parents perspective. I know not all ASD parents are biomed but I think its worth reading about other parents struggles because it can help you clarify your own sometimes. Also I think its good to be informed. I wasn’t a biomed mom and now I am, I think you have to walk a lifetime in someones shoes to try and understand why they do things but I’m really not a judgemental mom either way. I hope this blog just helps others out and maybe me in the process…

I’ve been truly pleased with the GF/CF diet. It gave Reese a break from the terrible belly pain and me a much needed break from the reality that is Autism. In the meantime, I sort of held all my eggs in one basket. Hoping and praying that this would be the answer, truly it’s a piece of the puzzle but its not the whole puzzle. Its helped him so much with his reflux and his belly pain has decreased but not gone away completely. He does tell me every now and again that his belly hurts but I think the problem is actually related to the fact that he just doesn’t eat enough, he’s still afraid to eat and he can’t go the bathroom for days. He is on a toxin removal that helps slowly remove toxins but its not enough. His body is more seriously affected than I had originally thought. It makes my stomach ache thinking about how much we have changed and how much further we have to go. Reese is doing a great job and I’m just so proud of him.

Stimming is really making me feel crazy somedays. We were on vacation and he just couldn’t stop flapping and saying the same thing over and over again, or acting like the tasmanian devil. He would come back later and say sorry and then go right back and do it all over again. I felt so bad for him when it would happen and then all of the sudden i’d just get so angry this was happening. I knew part of it was withdrawl but also his little body is changing and reacting to all these new things he was getting. Sometimes you question whether what you are doing is right or if you are just imagining things. This was one of these moments. I upped his Zeolyte drops and he went the bathroom. He seemed to feel better and even act a little better. I was surprised at how correct I really was and how much the gut and brain connect.

Just like Jenny McCarthy said I feel like i’m getting a degree from the University of Google, Barnes and Noble, my DAN dr. and my ASD Angel Mommy. Its empowering but also sad. I like every mom with a child on the AS don’t want this degree, we’d rather be blindly ignorant with children who are happy, healthy and not in need of being saved. But that’s not the card I was dealt. A lot of things have happened to me in my life but the most valuable to me has been being Reese and Logan’s mom. In the words of Rachel Coleman, “you’ve taught me more in your lifetime than I’ve learned in mine.” So maybe, I’m meant for something too. Meant to help others with their pain or something, but I’m going to try and be as positive as I can for myself but also for my family.

Reese has ASKED for Raisins, Hot Dogs and tried Beef Stew today. I couldn’t be more proud of him and how hard he is working. His circles under his eyes are slowly getting better and he took his probiotic and went to the bathroom soon after. He is on his way to Gastro healing and I couldn’t be happier.

At the same time I have this underlying anger that this took so long. That my pediatrician doesn’t believe in this diet yet in 1 week my child’s reflux has DISAPPEARED! I’m just a bit disenchanted with the APA and the fact that my Gastro Doctor for Reese doesn’t believe in this diet yet I removed him from all Meds and he is clearly getting better just astounds me!

I just finished reading Mother Warriors by Jennny McCarthy, which is an outstanding book for anyone with a child on the spectrum. It gives you such insight in to other parents belief’s and the courage they took to heal their children. That book was truly fantastic and I’m so happy I read it.

I hope this blog helps someone considering the diet and makes them consider going that extra step. Its worth every minute.